Well , I am out here in Jackson Hole at the abode of Tim Egan who has gathered a supporting cast of Craddy, Gilbane, Dowling, Klein, Baker and I. Needless to say savagery has ensued. Klein, Craddy, and I went out on a two night / three day backpacking trip in Grand Teton National Park from Sunday the 1st to Tuesday the 3rd before the rest of the crew arrived.
Backpacking trip highlights included:
-George's projectile vomit after 9 miles of uphill hiking during the first day which he referred to as the "Batan Death March". Severe dehydration was treated with a quick nap and a few nips of the "blackwater" which we came to call the jaggermister.
-George's wild fear of bears which led him to purchase a high powered pepper spray cannon and to Klein's wild fears that the would become the unintended victim of the blinding spray
-Snow glisading, alpine lake swimming, Grand Teton views, and consuming unhealthy amounts of hilshire farm summer sausage
Tom, George, and I came out of the woods Tuesday at a trailhead in Teton Village where we went promptly to the Mangey Moose Bar, ordered 4 rounds of beers, and argued vociferously about the pardon of Scooter Libby. Our waitress Trisha, sporting a firm rack of newly purchased breasts, then approached our table and offered to tell us a joke.
"What do a nine-volt battery and an asshole have in common" ?
[shrugs, awkward glances, and "I don't knows" exchanged between Tom, George and I]
"You know you shouldn't do it but you can't keep you tongue off them".
Jackson Hole certainly has it share of unique characters. I think she was just bored of listening to the politics talk and was trying to shock us into any other line of discussion. Needless to say she succeeded and all three of us took turns trying to impress her with are best dirty jokes.
That night, after the rest of the crew had arrived and Mrs. Egan had cooked us up a Mexican dinner, we all went out to bars in Jackson
Not surprisingly our roaming pack of 7 focused its efforts on seizing all attention and taking center stage at each bar patronized. We ended up our night at 43 North smoking ciggies and toasting friendship on the bars back porch. Though our tones were actually quite moderate, two words into Will Egan's toast a bouncer came over and told us to quiet down. Subsequently sarcasm and bouncer imitations ran amok, and a dramatically indignant Michael Gilbane proclaimed his civil liberties had been impugned.
Unfortunately a herd of bovine like females grazing on dark lagers nearby took the bouncer's side in the altercation and joined in trying to silence us. Despite some initial attempts at reconciliation, the herd could not be appeased.
The situation called for a preemptive strike designed for Shock and Awe which bubbled forth in the form of a roaring rendition of the Star Spangled Banner that would have brought tears to Lee Greenwood's eyes. The anthem would be the night's swansong, and we marched proudly off the porch leaving the spirit of the July Fourth shimmering in our wake. [Our wake may also have included curses and disgusted looks from the bouncer and his herd but the rest of the bar had actually responded to our patriotic appeal and had their hands over their hearts and were laughing heartily at the situation]
Today is morning two-the day after- and a long Egan itinerary stands before us for the coming days.
Backpacking trip highlights included:
-George's projectile vomit after 9 miles of uphill hiking during the first day which he referred to as the "Batan Death March". Severe dehydration was treated with a quick nap and a few nips of the "blackwater" which we came to call the jaggermister.
-George's wild fear of bears which led him to purchase a high powered pepper spray cannon and to Klein's wild fears that the would become the unintended victim of the blinding spray
-Snow glisading, alpine lake swimming, Grand Teton views, and consuming unhealthy amounts of hilshire farm summer sausage
Tom, George, and I came out of the woods Tuesday at a trailhead in Teton Village where we went promptly to the Mangey Moose Bar, ordered 4 rounds of beers, and argued vociferously about the pardon of Scooter Libby. Our waitress Trisha, sporting a firm rack of newly purchased breasts, then approached our table and offered to tell us a joke.
"What do a nine-volt battery and an asshole have in common" ?
[shrugs, awkward glances, and "I don't knows" exchanged between Tom, George and I]
"You know you shouldn't do it but you can't keep you tongue off them".
Jackson Hole certainly has it share of unique characters. I think she was just bored of listening to the politics talk and was trying to shock us into any other line of discussion. Needless to say she succeeded and all three of us took turns trying to impress her with are best dirty jokes.
That night, after the rest of the crew had arrived and Mrs. Egan had cooked us up a Mexican dinner, we all went out to bars in Jackson
Not surprisingly our roaming pack of 7 focused its efforts on seizing all attention and taking center stage at each bar patronized. We ended up our night at 43 North smoking ciggies and toasting friendship on the bars back porch. Though our tones were actually quite moderate, two words into Will Egan's toast a bouncer came over and told us to quiet down. Subsequently sarcasm and bouncer imitations ran amok, and a dramatically indignant Michael Gilbane proclaimed his civil liberties had been impugned.
Unfortunately a herd of bovine like females grazing on dark lagers nearby took the bouncer's side in the altercation and joined in trying to silence us. Despite some initial attempts at reconciliation, the herd could not be appeased.
The situation called for a preemptive strike designed for Shock and Awe which bubbled forth in the form of a roaring rendition of the Star Spangled Banner that would have brought tears to Lee Greenwood's eyes. The anthem would be the night's swansong, and we marched proudly off the porch leaving the spirit of the July Fourth shimmering in our wake. [Our wake may also have included curses and disgusted looks from the bouncer and his herd but the rest of the bar had actually responded to our patriotic appeal and had their hands over their hearts and were laughing heartily at the situation]
Today is morning two-the day after- and a long Egan itinerary stands before us for the coming days.
2 comments:
Jesus, someone get this kid a proofreader.
the spelling errors are egregious
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